Marry Me Page 18

  She had to wait until she trusted her voice. “Where is she?”

  “Bates House. Last I knew.”

  She could scarcely breathe. She didn’t care; air seemed insignificant.

  “Julia went into a coma two days after the birth. They threw me out. Had a footman club me over the head and dump me in the street. I tried—I tried everything to get back there. But I couldn’t. Ended up in jail twice while I tried. He had everything on his side, all the power, all the money, all the connections.” And the right, he didn’t say. But Emily suspected he believed it. As much as Mr. Bates might blame Jake for Julia’s death, it was no more than Jake blamed himself. “And then they draped the door in black and I knew. I walked straight into the nearest saloon and spent a year trying to drown it out.”

  She’d known all along he’d suffered loss. Too much mournful sorrow and raging anger fueled him for it to be anything else. But this was worse, a thousand times worse than she’d ever suspected.

  And there was nothing she could do for him but hang on.

  Because she’d judged that three more minutes in the same room with that idiot Joe Blevins and the monkey was likely to move her to physical violence against one, if not both, Kate excused herself with a delicate reference and lurched out the door.

  Heavens! For all his other flaws, Blevins certainly could brew some potent liquor. Kate frowned and braced herself momentarily against the wall until she found her balance. There. Not so bad, after all. She prided herself on being able to sip a few genteel glasses of wine at dinner and keep complete control of her faculties. This couldn’t be that much more difficult.

  Why, it was nearly dark. Night fell so quickly here, much more so than at home. No gentle dusk, slowly deepening in a soothing drift of beautiful blue. Here night crashed down, sweeping lashes of strong color that were soon punched away by the dense, insistent black.

  Where were Emily and that man? They’d been gone so long. They wouldn’t have dared to leave for home without her. At least she didn’t think so.

  Unless, of course, Jake had become heartily sick of a chaperone interrupting his fun and had seduced Emily away for an evening of unbridled lust.

  Oh, that was probably what had happened! He certainly didn’t appear to be the sort of man who’d politely wait for his pleasures. And even she had to admit that his manly display of righteous anger, threatening Mr. Blevins into treating his poor, pregnant wife with due consideration, would spur a flutter in any woman’s heart.

  She swayed forward, deciding that it would indeed be wise to visit the necessary before demanding to be taken home. Though who would escort her there proved a dilemma. Joe deserved to spend the rest of the evening dancing attendance upon his wife, but she doubted Mr. Biskup could be persuaded to leave that disgusting creature behind.

  Perhaps she’d find her own way home. She was almost sure it was…that direction. The grass was bent and bruised, as if someone had just passed that way. Undoubtedly a path.

  She wished Jake were here so he’d be forced to acknowledge she was not the complete greenhorn he considered her. Triumphantly she plunged into the faint trail, feeling like an accomplished tracker.

  The looming onset of night made her pause only briefly. Once night fell surely she could find her way back just by following the lamplight glinting through a window.

  She found them just before sunset, the two of them standing on a slight rise, holding each other, completely limned in golden light.

  She’d worried about stumbling across them locked in passion. But that—oh, that would have been easier. Simpler. So very understandable, a quick, flaming, physical connection between two young and healthy people.

  But this, she realized in sinking dismay, she couldn’t fight. Sex was temporary. But two people so wrapped in each other, swaying slightly as one, entirely alone on a desolate plain but sufficient together, needing no one else, wanting no one else—that was something entirely different. Something far more permanent forged of warmth and tenderness and care, two people against the world.

  Before they ever noticed her presence she turned and slowly made her way back, feeling for the first time in her life utterly alone.

  Chapter 14

  “Now.” Pausing at the entrance to the Blevinses’, Emily reached up and smoothed his collar, a proprietary gesture that startled them both only in retrospect because it seemed so utterly natural. “You must apologize to Joseph.”

  “I will not. He deserved it.”

  They’d walked back in starlight and silence. He’d held her hand, which they’d both pretended but neither believed was for safety’s sake alone. Emily found herself reluctant to enter the house, afraid that the spell would be irretrievably broken.

  “He’s terrified, you know.”

  Jake gave a snort of disbelief. “Oh yeah, quaking in his boots. Saw that right off.”

  “He is. Even more afraid than she is, I think, and trying to bolster them both by pretending there’s nothing to it.”

  “Really,” he said, unconvinced.

  “Absolutely. I’ve seen it before. I expect May to come through with flying colors, but I suspect Joe will faint before the baby crowns.”

  “You think you understand people so well, do you?”

  “Yes,” she said. “I’m very good at it, you know.”

  “Did you ever consider that, in refusing to ever find fault in anyone, you’re being hopelessly taken in?” He gently touched her cheek. “You’re going to be very disappointed someday, when someone you’ve given the benefit of the doubt lets you down.”

  She searched his face. She was still unused to him without a beard and was fascinated by the angles, by the play of light over his cheekbones and the shadowed cleft in his chin. How long would she have to stare at him, she wondered, before the jolt wore off?

  “I don’t think I’m going to be disappointed,” she murmured. “I don’t believe I’m going to be disappointed at all.”

  “Em.” He shifted his weight, leaning closer until she couldn’t take in the whole of his face at once and had to settle for his eyes, dark and rich and warm. “Em, I—”

  “Oh, there you are!” The door flew inward. A glass gripped in one hand, Kate swayed, threatening to topple before she wisely braced herself against the doorway. The monkey crouched happily on her shoulder, maintaining his precarious station by clutching gleaming fistfuls of red-gold hair. “I thought you’d left me.”

  “I’m sorry, Kate,” Emily said, fighting a start of guilt. Hadn’t she done just that? Kate had always seemed utterly confident and in control. It had never occurred to her that Kate might need her.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” Jake said, voice mild with amusement. “You look like you’ve been having fun.” He pointed at the monkey with his chin; Smithie bared his teeth and chattered nastily at him.

  “Now there, Smithie, play nice.” Kate patted her bodice and skirts. “Now, where did I put…oh, there they are.” She’d tucked a handful of dates in a convenient row of lace that bordered her sleeve and removed two now—one for Smithie, one for her. “I guess I have, at that.” She saluted Jake with her glass. “Sorry that you don’t like the stuff, Jake. The taste grows on one, it surely does. But then, that just leaves all the more for me, doesn’t it?” And then she giggled, high-pitched, gratingly trill. She clapped her hands over her mouth, then glanced around as if to find the offending party.

  Emily studied her sister worriedly. While Kate had never been abstemious, she’d also never been one to drown her sorrows, not even when Dr. Goodale had given her every reason to numb her life around the edges. “Forgive me, Kate, but for some reason I thought you weren’t too fond of the monkey.”

  “Oh, he grows on you, too.” She beamed woozily. “We’ve come to an agreement, he and I. And I must admit that I’m beginning to see Mr. Biskup’s point.” She reached up and chucked the monkey beneath his tiny chin. At that, the creature launched itself off her shoulder and disappeared, screeching, into the night
. “Oh no!”

  “It’s all right,” Jake said soothingly. “He’s a wanderer by nature. He’ll find his way back. You don’t have to worry about him.”

  “Fickle fellow,” she said gloomily. “Abandoning me like that.” She fixed her gaze on Jake. “You won’t abandon Emily, will you?” she said, more an order than a question, just before her eyes crossed.

  “No, I won’t abandon her,” he assured her, and wondered why he felt guilty even though—technically—it was the truth. Nobody was abandoning anybody, he thought bleakly. They would merely reach the expected conclusion of their agreement. “Come on,” he said, before any more uncomfortable topics could arise. “Let’s take you home. I’m betting you’ll sleep really well tonight.”

  By the time Kate and her sister were left alone, when Jake went outside to water his horse and “attend to matters,” as he put it, Kate’s boozy haze was wearing off. She should have snitched a bottle, she thought with some regret; what she had to do now would undoubtedly be easier with her senses dulled.

  Emily was still staring after her husband, her eyes soft, her expression worried. He’d hardly spoken a word on the way home and had clomped out after murmuring the barest excuse.

  “Emily, he’s such a grump.”

  Emily shrugged. “He’s got reason to be.” Then she smiled fondly, as if Kate had just described a virtue rather than a serious, if not quite fatal, flaw. “And he’s not always.”

  “Hmm.” Oh hell. There was no hope for it. “You’re really not coming home with me, are you?”

  “Oh Kate.” Emily grabbed both her hands and held on tight. “No, I’m not.”

  Kate squeezed her eyes shut.

  “My dear, I’m so sorry. I shall miss—”

  “Don’t be silly,” Kate told her briskly. She pulled her hands from Emily’s and waved them in front of her eyes. “Save it for the goodbyes, will you? I don’t intend to weep over this more than once, and you shan’t expect me to.”

  “Kate—”

  “Now then. About that husband of yours.”

  “Yes?” Emily asked warily.

  “Emily, you must credit me with some expertise in these matters. I was married for many years, and while you may choose to disagree, the marriage worked as it had been contracted, and therefore I may offer you some useful advice.”

  “Of course.”

  “This may be difficult for you to hear. However, I hope you will give it due consideration.”

  “I always do.”

  “Then we would hardly be here, would we?” Kate held up a hand to stave off Emily’s protests. “Never mind; that topic’s been put to rest, and I will not speak of it again. However, I have given some thought to your husband’s…somewhat difficult temperament.”

  “Kate, I assure you—”

  “Emily, you will wait until I’m finished, please? This is difficult enough, and I know I taught you better manners.” She took a deep breath. “You have made a number of excuses for his…tension. But it occurs to me that your lack of experience—don’t look at me like that, Emily, if you do not lack experience in this one area I certainly do not want to know about it—has encouraged you to overlook one of the more likely possibilities.”

  This time, when she stopped to gulp another breath, Emily remained blessedly silent. “You are newly married. Your husband is by all accounts young and healthy. It is quite possible that you are not—that he is not—oh, the hell with it. Perhaps if you performed your wifely duties more frequently, and with more enthusiasm, his humor would be somewhat better.”

  “Kate!” she said, aghast.

  “Oh, don’t look at me like that. ’Tis common knowledge that men, if their…energies are forced to back up, have a tendency to become surly. Certainly Dr. Goodale was much more tractable after—”

  “I don’t want to hear this.” Mortified, Emily clapped her hands over her ears. “I won’t listen to this.” I won’t think of this. She’d always considered her sister’s marriage cold-blooded and shallow. The merest suggestion of them…She shuddered.

  “Emily, grow up,” she snapped. “You’re a married woman. It was not my choice, but now that you are, you could benefit from my experience. And my experience suggests that perhaps your young man isn’t getting enough—enough—”

  “All right!” Anything. She would have agreed to anything, if only to put an end to this embarrassing conversation. “I will…be accommodating. I promise.”

  “For some men, accommodating is not enough. One must be encouraging.”

  “Fine. I understand perfectly, I promise. No need to go into detail.”

  “Young women always think they know of such matters, young men being, generally, very easily encouraged. As time goes on, however, it helps to know a few tricks. For instance, one must discover how a particular man is best approached. Some men are most intrigued by mystery—not too much flesh, just a flash here and there of an ankle or a shoulder they hadn’t expected to see. With others, however, it is necessary to be quite blatant, and—”

  “Oh, hush! He might come back at any moment, and I could not bear for him to overhear us.”

  “Which is something else to consider. The words themselves are quite effective for some men, particularly somewhat crude words from an otherwise refined woman.”

  “Yes, yes! I understand. Kate, truly, I promise, if we have any…difficulties in that area, I will ask for your wise advice without hesitation. But I do believe I can muddle through all right for now. You must believe me when I say that Jake does not have a problem in this regard.”

  “I was only trying to help,” Kate said, her voice low and wounded.

  “I understand.”

  “To give you the benefit of my knowledge.”

  “I know.” Now that the worst of the danger seemed to have passed, Emily attempted to soothe. “And I do appreciate it. And I do likewise realize what fortitude it took to raise such matters with your baby sister. It was very brave of you.”

  Kate was only slightly mollified. “It was.”

  “And the fact that you were willing to help to…improve my marriage, when you were so set against it, means more to me than I can say.”

  Kate seized her hand and held on tightly. “I have only ever wished the best for you, Emily.”

  “I know. And I have had it, from the very beginning, for I have always had you for my sister.”

  Kate’s lovely face crumpled. “Oh dear! You always do this to me. Which is why I could never remain angry at you for long.” She blew out a breath and composed herself with admirable speed. “If I hadn’t been so softhearted where you were concerned perhaps I would have been able to discipline you effectively and you would be more obedient.”

  “I was ever obedient.”

  “When it suited you,” Kate agreed. “And I suspect that when you weren’t, I rarely discovered it.”

  Emily frowned in mock affront. “Would I do that?”

  “Yes. Just as I would ignore a promise when it suits me. To that end, I do have one more small technique to share with you. Dr. Goodale could never resist when—”

  “Kate!” Emily laughed. “After you have a passionate fling with some handsome young gentleman you may come back and tell me every detail and I will listen, I promise. But I will not subject myself to any more intimation about you and Dr. Goodale. I swear, the mere thought of it will ensure I keep Jake at arm’s length for weeks!” She heard the door open, didn’t know whether to be relieved to be rescued or worried about Kate’s embarrassing new unpredictability. If Kate started instructing Jake to be more attentive to her…

  “Excuse me.” Jake hovered in the doorway. “I thought you’d have changed by now. I’ll just—” He hooked his thumb over his shoulder and began backing out.

  “No, stay. I’d like to speak with you,” Kate said. “Oh, don’t look so panicked, Emily, it’s not about that.”

  He looked to Emily for a hint. She shrugged.

  “Uh, sure.” He stepped in and le
t the door swing shut behind him. “What can I do for you?”

  “I just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving.”

  “Leaving?” Emily studied Jake for some sign of happiness or a hint of disappointment. Once Kate left, their bargain would be complete. Would he be glad to get rid of her, to be left alone with his memories and his land? Or had some small part of him become accustomed to her presence?

  Oh, don’t be a goose, Em. The bare truth of it was, she wanted him to miss her when she was gone. Because, God help her, she would miss him.

  “When?”

  “In a hurry to be rid of me?” Kate asked dryly.

  “No, of course not,” he said quickly. “I just—” He stopped and pushed his fingers through his hair, forcing the waves into wild disarray. “I’m afraid you’ve caught me by surprise, Mrs. Goodale. We hadn’t expected your visit to be so brief.”

  “Ah, well, I’ve things to attend to, you know. A life to plan.” Her smile wobbled. “I’d like to stay until Tuesday, if you don’t mind. For Emily’s birthday.”

  “Stay as long as you like.”

  “Thank you.” Her smile firmed. “Oh, Emily, I can’t believe you’re going to be nineteen! It seems as if I should still be helping you button your boots.”

  “Nineteen?” he repeated, shooting a speculative glance at Emily.

  Emily winced. Oh, her chickens were really coming to roost now, weren’t they?

  “Yes, of course. Didn’t she…how’d you get married without knowing her birth date? It must be on the license.”

  “Her birth date wasn’t my uppermost consideration at the time.” His smile was far too interested for Emily’s peace of mind. “I’m glad to know it now, though. I’ll have to put some thought into it.”

  “Yes, well…” Kate allowed herself a moment of worry, then plunged on. “It’s occurred to me that I’ve taken gross advantage of the two of you, imposing my presence at such a time. From now on, I’ll be sleeping in the tent.”